Did you see what happened on….Oh wait, I do not want to spoil it for you.
Television used to be a thing that brought people together. Events that happened on a television show could enter into the public consciousness immediately after they happened.
Now, however, it seems you cannot talk about anything without people covering their ears or scolding you for not issuing a “spoiler alert.”
I will be honest, I am not a guy who is up on TV (movies are a different story), and I rely a lot on my DVR for viewing episodes of new shows.
Just this last weekend, I watched nearly three hours of American Horror Story: Freakshow to catch up, and gossip with my friends about all the crazy stuff that has been happening in Jupiter, Florida.
Over the summer, I watched all eight hours of the extravagant HBO drama True Detective on DVD in two days. I am the definition of a binge-watcher.
However, if a show gets spoiled for me in a conversation, I am not the type of person to scold for discussing events in popular entertainment.
I fully acknowledge that I am way behind on TV. True Detective ran in the late winter/early spring of 2014. I did not see the series until mid-July.
I would not expect people to not talk about something for that long simply so I can catch up.
Not spoiling a show/movie for someone is proper etiquette. No one likes knowing the surprise at the end. But, at a certain point the onus is not on society; it is on the viewer.
It is a weird attitude to have. Some people think that the world revolves around their time and schedule to watch television, and that if they are around, the topic of conversation has to be dropped.
I get that people are busy and we cannot all watch TV shows as they air.
Netflix, DVR, TiVo, and more traditional home viewing methods like DVD and Blu-Ray (or VHS if you are stuck in a ‘90s time warp) have made it easy for people to relax and watch things when they have the time.
In the immortal words of the Diff’rent Strokes theme song: “The world don’t move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for you, may not be right for some.”
Oh, I am sorry. Did I just spoil the Diff’rent Strokes theme song? Sorry, I just figured that with that show being nearly 40 years old you would have heard it by now.
I had a recent experience with this. I was talking to a friend about movies and I made a reference to the end of The Usual Suspects. (You are safe to read further. I’m not going to spoil it here.)
The friend flipped out on me, explaining he had not seen the movie and that I should not have said anything.
Was that wrong of me? That movie is nearly 20 years old. At what point, do I have to watch my mouth? What is the age at which a film simply enters the lexicon and is not regarded as a secret or surprise?
I am sure to most it would not be a spoiler to say, The Wizard of Oz ends with Dorothy clicking her heals together and saying, “There’s no place like home.” Then she is whisked back off to Kansas. (I would apologize to those of you who have not seen The Wizard of Oz, but come on!)
There should be some sort of vote amongst the informers of popular culture – a formal decision on how long it takes for a movie or television show to be considered old enough to spoil.
It could work on a varying scale that takes in account how old said work is, how popular it is, and how many twists and turns the effect of the story depends on.
I don’t know who will decide the scale, I’m just the ideas man.
Some other hero will have to rise from the ashes of television, film and literature and determine a scientific measurement of what makes a work spoilable and when it is appropriate to do so.
At the moment, deciding on what is is a spoiler is one of those ‘use your best judgment things.’
My judgment: if it has been more than six months after the piece of media/art/entertainment has been released on DVD/Blu-Ray, it is not a spoiler.
Brian Laughran
Editor-in-Chief
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