It creeps up on you.
It grabs hold of your life and refuses to let go.
You suddenly feel helpless, lonely and scared.
Your feelings are out of control and you just can’t seem to get a hold of your life like you once used to – all efforts seem to be in vain.
Life seems hopeless – it’s nothing more than an endless abyss of black and gray and you start to wonder if you’re ever going to be happy again; if you’re ever going to smile like you once used to smile or laugh like you once used to laugh.
You feel like you’re sinking – sinking into a deep, dark ocean, steel chains yanking you in and holding you down, and slowly but surely, you start gasping for air and wanting to scream from the top of your lungs for help, only you can’t because that’ll just cause you to drown even faster.
You’re stuck.
You’re falling deeper and deeper in and by now, you’ve lost all your strength from trying to loosen those chains.
It’s hopeless.
No one can hear you and no one knows about your insufferable pain.
You’re stuck all alone
Always wondering if you’re ever going to escape from your own personal, never-ending hell.
That, my dear readers, is a small glimpse of how it feels like to be living with depression. Yes, a small glimpse. You see, if I were to actually write down all the feelings one endures when struggling through this unbearable illness, I’d most likely have to take up a whole page or two in this paper to do so. (That wouldn’t exactly be fair to my fellow Xavierite writers, now would it?)
So, what is depression?
According to the Mayo Clinic, depression is a serious medical illness which causes a continuous feeling of sadness and loss of interest. As is typical of any medical illness, depression has various affects on any individual who may be suffering from it.
These affects include a change in one’s behavior, mood, thoughts, and even body; that’s – right depression affects a person both emotionally and physically.
Contrary to what many people may think, individuals who are suffering from depression cannot simply “snap out of it.”
Depression is a serious medical condition, and as such, it should be treated just like any other medical condition.
To put this into context, you wouldn’t ever tell a friend who has diabetes to “snap out of” his or her diabetes – well, if you wouldn’t ever say that to your diabetic friend, then you also shouldn’t say that to a friend who’s struggling with depression.
As the National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI) states, depression is a life-long condition in which periods of wellness and illness alternate.
It is not something that’s merely “made up” in someone’s head.
When I was asked if I could contribute an article to the lifestyle section of this week’s issue, I had absolutely no idea what I could possibly write about or what would possibly even interest readers.
Hmmm..the numerous benefits of exercise?
The various effects of listening to music at a high volume?
The health benefits or dangers of drinking too much caffeine?
No; all those ideas seemed too boring and, besides that, I’d most likely have a boring time writing about them! I wanted to write about something I have actually experienced or done – something I could relate to.
That’s when it hit me – I’d write about my struggle with depression.
Sure, the idea seemed like an interesting one, perhaps maybe even a novel one to include in a student newspaper; but, that’s when something else hit me – I’d be writing about something that people like to ignore; something that people are too nervous to talk about; something that is so greatly stigmatized in our society.
After realizing this, a part of me wanted to switch back to another topic; a part of me became too afraid to speak about this issue; but most of all, a part of me wanted to remain silent.
But, I can’t remain silent.
I can’t remain silent after struggling through the toughest three years of my life – thoughts of overwhelming sadness, hopelessness, and despair constantly flooding my mind and holding me back.
I can’t remain silent after experiencing one of the worst periods in my life – each day, having difficulty even getting out of bed, all because I saw no point in anything anymore and the only place in which I could ever escape from this depression was in my dreams.
I can’t remain silent after finding out that there are other people, like me, who are struggling through this illness – according to NAMI, that’s five to eight percent of adults (about 25 million) in the U.S. each year.
No. I cannot remain silent!
The issues of mental health and mental illness are serious ones but, unfortunately, often overlooked ones.
When they are discussed, it’s usually after some horrific tragedy has occurred; however, that only causes people to believe that anyone who may be suffering from a mental illness is a psychopath, a freak, a lunatic, or a person who is undeserving to be around anyone else.
It shouldn’t be this way.
People who are struggling through depression or through any other mental illness need our help and we can’t just turn our backs on them as if they’re unimportant.
After all, we wouldn’t turn our backs on someone who may be on the sidewalk severely bleeding and with a broken leg after having fallen off of his or her bicycle; why should we treat differently those who are suffering mentally from those who are suffering physically?
With time, I hope that the issues of mental health and mental illnesses become less and less stigmatized in our society and that the resources needed to help individuals who are suffering from them may become more and more accessible.
Again, I could go on and on talking about what it’s like to live with depression, but, through this article, I hope to have had at least shed a small amount of light on what it’s like to live with it – the constant battle one must fight through everyday.
As to how I am today, well thanks to the helpful resources I’ve used, I’m doing quite well. Sure there are the occasional small relapses here and there, but not to the extreme severity as it once used to be.
Of course, it does help to be surrounded by some pretty awesome, supportive people – friends, family, colleagues, and even several faculty members here at SXU – who I am beyond thankful to have in my life.
If you believe that you or a friend may be suffering from depression, please, do not be afraid to seek help.
As tough as it may seem right now, I can assure you that the darkness will subside and that better days are in store for you!
Trust me!
After all, I’m living proof that you can overcome depression.
Motley Jones
Lifestyle Contributor