Donald Trump has forced me to write a lot of columns. He’s put forward positions that tread on the First Amendment. He’s a race-baiter. He’s used angry yet realistically impotent rhetoric to sway the GOP into a frenzy of far-right fever. As a Southsider, you can add another offense to the list. He made me kind of respect the Ricketts family. Kinda.
For those of you who may not be sports fans, the Ricketts family own the Chicago Cubs, the cross-town rival of my team – the Chicago White Sox. But the Ricketts are heroes for the week. Kinda. According to USA Today, Marlene Ricketts donated $3 million to an anti-Trump super PAC called Our Principles PAC. She is apparently the PAC’s largest contributor.
Well, that set off The Donald. He took out his anger in the only way he knows how: by shouting into the endless void through Twitter. On Monday, Trump sent out the following tweet in regard to the Ricketts: “I hear the Rickets family, who own the Chicago Cubs, are secretly spending $’s against me. They better be careful, they have a lot to hide!”
Let’s unpack some of that. First of all, it is worth noting that he spelled the family’s name wrong. Second, let’s consider for a moment that the last part of that sentence sounds a lot like a threat. No. Strike that. It is a threat. We really don’t want a POTUS who is so threatened by the political interests of others that he can’t handle people investing money in other candidates.
Hell, I’ll go one step further. It’s un-American to support a candidate who is threatening others for investing money in other candidates. Yeah, generally speaking I hate super PACs. I think there is too much money in politics already and all these PACs really do is make it possible for large corporations to funnel unlimited money into politics and sway elections.
That being said, it is the law of the land. And, call me crazy; you can’t threaten people for taking part in something that they can legally do as American citizens. Trump seems to hate super PACs. Which I’m sure plays well to stupid people who think that means Trump wants big money out of politics and yet somehow can’t realize that Trump himself represents the interest of big business because he is a big businessman.
He hosted a game show based on that premise where he said, “You’re fired!” to Gary Busy because the actor didn’t raise enough money while he was the Project Manager. Yep. The EXACT OPPOSITE of big business (meant to be read with over-bearing sarcasm).
I hope that the Ricketts donate a whole bunch of money to this super PAC for two reasons: one, to continuously make the Donald angry. Two, I hope they make the Donald so angry that he actually reveals what “big secrets” the Ricketts family actually has to hide. Did they practice witchcraft with human sacrifices? Do they own a large collection of Nazi gold? Are they storing the cryogenically frozen head of Walt Disney?
Was Joe Ricketts the other shooter on the grassy knoll on November 22, 1963? Is Marlene Ricketts secretly Princess Anastasia, the famed Russian royal who went missing? Are they covering up the Da Vinci code? The world may never know….unless they donate more money.
If we operate on the logic of The Godfather Part II, which is how I operate on most days anyway, than the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Which means that I have to give the Ricketts some credit for this endeavor. That being said, they still own the Cubs. And as a Southsider, I just have a hard time accepting that I have to give them credit.
So, today, I will give the Ricketts credits. But know, that this alliance is shaky. This is like that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry and Newman have to work together in order for Jerry to get Newman a transfer to Hawaii. Jerry dislikes Newman. I dislike Trump. Jerry wants Newman gone. I want Trump gone. If the Ricketts are going to be a part of that, I can get behind that.
But, as soon as this election cycle is over, know that this alliance will be over until another foe rises and we need to join forces once again. See what you did, Trump? See what you did? You made the Ricketts right and that is something that I cannot abide. I can’t abide that one bit. You have to go, sir. You have to go.
Brian Laughran
Editor-in-Chief