Work Ethic Mantra Xavierite Staff
Recently, while listening to a favorite podcast of mine, it occurred to me that I’m not very loving.
See, one of the hosts was explaining the dynamics of his family when he was young, and told the other host that while his mother was very distant, she was hardworking. On the other hand, their father was present in their home and affectionate but received less respect from the host and his siblings.
What’s presented here is a binary, where a person can either be loving or successful, but never both.
This is very similar to the structure of a nuclear family in America, where the archetypes of the stay at home mom and rarely seen husband give balance to the household.
Yet outside of a family context, individuals are expected to embody both of these traits.
This got me thinking a lot about how I interact with my loved ones, and what I consider my status to be in social circles.
For me, the question was a no-brainer. Putting work before myself and the people around me is a choice I make every day.
If there’s a project to be completed, I’ll choose isolation before recreation, partly because of how I label myself.
Noel Gallagher of the band Oasis once said “I don’t live to work, I work to live.” meaning that for him, his job starts and ends at the door. Outside of his workspace, he is not a musician, but simply a human.
I have a hard time separating work and life because of how important my identity as a writer is.
Writing is the reason I wake up in the morning, it’s how I label myself in every space I enter, and it’s the thing I’m best at.
There’s always an idea in my brain, a pen in my pocket, and a need for more success.
There’s always something missing on working nights though. Once the ink dries on all my work, there’s no one to return to, nobody to go see in the depths of midnight.
But I look back at all the stories written, the backlog of poetry and articles, and I’m always proud. Proud and hungry for more.
I don’t think my side of the binary is correct. I’d love to be slower, speak with more vulnerability, and make time for friends in the midst of my many projects.
Just this week I’ve missed several opportunities to spend time with them.
However the older I get, the more I find that my natural state is one of progress. I like sitting in front of a desk for hours at a time. It’s the one form of stillness I can accept without issue.
Isolation isn’t a burden, it’s a pleasure, and the more I have to look back on, the better I feel about my life.
Writing is my purpose, and I try to live in that purpose as much as possible, even if it means I have to miss a text, or my friends’ voices go from being earworms to forgotten tunes.
Of course there should always be a balance. Without contrast, life has no texture.
If one has to choose the personal or professional, for better or worse, they should never forget the people that helped make them successful.
This includes yourself. Self-care is vital to success. Even in the throes of productivity, I never let myself starve, and I always give myself some kind of a break, even if it’s only a brief rest.
If one has more to offer in love than in their work ethic, they should find a way to involve their loved ones in their job as motivation. With good aim, you really can kill two birds with one stone.
Likewise, if one is distant and accomplished, they should use their rest time to contact the people close to them.
Even if it’s short calls or scheduled texts, eliminating worry allows for more peace of mind on working days.
All in all, something must exist of a person beyond their work, and something must matter beyond the people one surrounds themselves with.
By keeping more mindful habits, we can ensure that regardless of what feeling we chase, and what emotions we’re loyal to, we don’t lose ourselves in the pursuit of it.