My dear readers, it is finally time for me to write about something that has been bothering me for quite some time. “Why put it off so long if it irks you so much?”, you might ask.
The answer to that is simple, I needed time. Time to see if my difficulties with this particular issue might just pass and also to discover if my peers were experiencing these same type of difficulties.
If you’re in happy long-term relationship, you might want to turn the page and skip this article because it is likely that you will not currently relate to the struggle I am about to express. And after all, connecting to my readers is a primary goal of my column.
Many college students, myself included, find ourselves single and active in the dating scene. Now, when I say dating I mean meeting people, going on dates, having several different connections with several people and most importantly, not being currently committed to one specific person.
In a rather non-journalistic fashion I am going to cut right to the chase and ask…..does anyone else find the modern dating scene and dating practices to be totally confusing and exhausting?
Due to our extremely advanced and numerous technological avenues of communication, there’s about a hundred different ways to keep in contact with dating prospects and each avenue (text, message, IM, phone call) seems to mean something different to each person.
I cannot even express the amount of times I have heard a peer or friend say or even said myself “So I’ve been talking to this guy (or girl)….” I think I speak for an entire generation when I ask…What does that even mean?
Well you’ve been texting back and forth, he sends you snapchats, he Facebook messaged you, you tweeted at him.
But how often do you actually have a conversation in person or spend any extended amount of time together…rarely in most cases. How well can you really get to know someone via text?
Is it wrong for me to long for the days when the person you were interested had only one way to reach you, by phone? And that phone was used to determine the next time you would see each other in order to get to know each other a little better.
It’s simple; it’s to the point. If they’re interested they will call and make an effort to see you.
No indecipherable texts, no random Facebook messages, no suggestive snapchats, no sly sub tweets, no confusion.
Similarly, we are constantly in contact with friends, acquaintances and romantic interests, so how exactly do we distinguish those who are genuinely interested in us from those who aren’t.
At any given point during a text conversation we are sifting through slang and emojis that seem to mean something a little bit different to each person all while only assuming the tone and mood of the person on the other end.
As I type this my mind is immediately drawn to the ever-disputed winking smiley face as an excellent example. It is more than possible that you view your relationship with this person one way and they view it completely differently.
It seems as though person-to-person interaction has become a little too “awkward” and uncomfortable for most of my generation and understandably so. We’ve been given a much less nerve racking and potentially less embarrassing route…who wouldn’t take advantage of that?
We say we are putting ourselves out there, but we are never fully putting ourselves out there because social media and texting allow us to maintain a constant hint of ambiguity within our messages if we wish to do so.
It’s much easier to get a “No thanks’’ in text then to get one right to your face. But back in the day (wow, I sound like my Dad), that was the only way they had and somehow they survived the humiliation and rejection and still managed successful dating and relationships.
I, and I am willing to bet most of my peers, would much appreciate any guy that is interested in me walking up to me and starting a conversation.
Never underestimate the value of a little straightforwardness and courage. Put down your phones and computers and actually talk to someone…let’s cut down the confusion.
Bridget Goedke
Viewpoints Editor