Before I was born, nobody asked my soul if it was ready; but I suppose that is all life is. Is it not jumping head first without warning, because all your friends are doing it? So-called stupid decisions are essential. I am not saying to make dangerous decisions, but I am saying to experience life to the fullest, as cliche as it sounds. In basic words, getting angry, sad, happy, and every emotion under the sun is important. Life is about experience, and there is nothing wrong with feeling your emotions.
As someone who craves control, it is easy to get caught up in the desire of needing to know every detail. Though, there is a difference between not being ready versus being too scared to accept what is good for you. Through reading all the agonizing poetry and advice on heartbreak, what resonated was the concept of closure.
Many people see closure after a breakup or loss of friendship as talking to that person one last time; however, I do not think that is necessarily the case. When you do not let go of that person who is hurting you because you feel as though you have so much more to ask them, the cycle is never-ending.
Closure, as it turns out, is not needing one final conversation. Closure is being healed enough to know that you will always yearn for more answers than there are, and accepting that you may not get them. You will only be fully healed once you are content with your own company. I understand it is difficult and easier said than done, as most things are, but you do not need all the answers. Make peace with yourself, and that will be fulfilling enough. You need to accept that life keeps moving forward, whether you are ready for it or not.
In my opinion, the best closure you may ever get will be with yourself. Allow yourself to feel your emotions, then let go of what could have been. The best thing you can do for yourself is not dwell in the past. Your worth comes from yourself, not others. It is natural to wonder why good things have to end, but the beauty of life is that it is a cycle. There is good and bad and everything in between, and, in my opinion, that is beautiful.
If you take away one thing from all I have said, take away this: you deserve the cosmos in your hands and love in the weight of the universe in your heart. You deserve healthy love. You deserve to love yourself. Pain always subsides, and it is crucial not to lose yourself in the healing process. Healing is not linear and takes time. There may be moments where you feel stuck in the past or like you are going backward, but the wonderful thing here is that you are recognizing it. You are making progress, and that does not go unnoticed. So, in the end, allow yourself to give yourself the closure you need.