Dear Lauren,
I have a friend that experiences sexual thoughts about other girls. She says she isn’t gay but she has made out with a few girls and her relationships with guys don’t work out at all. She says its because she has bad luck with guys but I think she’s in denial. Do you think I should force her to see the truth or let her live in denial?
Sincerely,
Helping a Friend See the Truth
Dear Helping,
The worst thing you could do in this situation is to try to force your friend to figure out her own sexuality. As human beings, our sexuality is one thing that we have total control over. Either we can be very public with it or we can keep it to ourselves.
I’m sure your friend just wants to deal with her sexuality privately, which is why she isn’t coming out. Just because she has had encounters with women and things tend to not work out with the guys in her life, it certainly does not mean she is anything other than heterosexual. Though, if she wasn’t heterosexual, that is completely her business.
If she is a lesbian, bisexual, or any other sort of orientation, it really is her business and you should leave it alone. I would only talk about it with her if she wants to talk about the situation.
I’m sure if she is part of the LGBTQIA community, she will come out when she feels it is the right time.
If you really want to show your support as a friend, just always be there to listen to her whenever she needs an ear. (Or maybe ask her if she wants to pop into an Alliance meeting sometime. Not because you are pushing her to come out, just because I am doing some shameless self-promotion.)
Hope I helped and remember to always listen to Lauren!
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Lauren Dwyer
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