The sunsetting on one of my night walks The Xavierite
I’m walking home, it’s late. It’s a quiet night, crickets chirping and there’s a nice, cool breeze. I have my airpods in and I’m listening to some music. The sun is setting, I feel a sense of peace, and I’m completely alone.
I like to go on walks at night, it gives me a different sense of serenity. It’s quiet and I’m able to be alone with my thoughts, which I’m not able to do during the day. It’s like when the sun shines, the world is in complete chaos.
But after the sun sets, and the world quiets down, the only company I have is myself, and I oh so adore it. I enjoy being alone, people easily drain me, but I also adore communicating with others. I guess in a sense, you could call me an extroverted-introvert (mostly an introvert though).
It’s weird, when I want to be, I can be a social butterfly, but at times, I hate it. I just wish that sometimes we could all just sit in silence without it being awkward. I hate awkward silence and crave the ability to sit with my thoughts, doing my own thing. But for the most part, in the daylight hours, it’s utterly impossible.
It would be nice if I could have a day a week where I could just sit with my thoughts and be alone. I yearn for that loneliness. It’s a yearning that I am incapable of turning off.
I don’t get the need to be around others consistently, if I was alone for a few months, I would be completely fine.
Don’t get me wrong, I have my people and I absolutely adore them. I just need time for myself every once in a while.
Some people might think “well how could someone feel so deeply about being alone?” Well, I need the calmness of it.
I ended up finding it in the night, where my mind finally has the ability to wander.
I like the calmness of the night. It’s peaceful, and yet again, filled with utter silence. Well except for the crickets’ beautiful melody and the gusts of wind through the trees. I can escape into the depths of my own mind and contemplate the different aspects of my life. Or, I could completely shut my mind off, and just sit in the silence of the dark.
At times, I wish the night was eternal and I could escape from the world forever, continuing to be surrounded by the calm. But, I also enjoy the chaos of the day. So, I guess I’ll just have to wait for the sun to set, and for nightfall to hit, and then I can be back in the comfort of loneliness.