On Friday October 12, 2018, the SXU students gathered with open minds and empty stomachs. An event entitled “SXU Speaks”, It’s on Us hosted a forum panel in the Student Lounge to explore the topic of sex (and possibly grab a slice or two of pizza).
As Reem Alshoweat stated at the beginning of the panel, “We want to find out what SXU knows” on the topic of sexuality. They were also looking towards the future.
“When we host any upcoming events, we know where to go,” was also an interest for Alshoweat. With that, and the plates filled, the panel began.
The first discussion to be brought up were the students personal understandings on consent.
The consensus of the room was pretty unanimous; consent had to be unanimous and was always revocable. Celeste Montenegro, RPM for Pacelli Residential Dorm, contributed an new concept; if the yes seems reluctant, it’s not a yes.
When asked for elaborate further, Montenegro had this to say.”…Sex [is] the responsibility of both parties. If you notice I’m tensing up, or feel any reluctance from my end, it’s a no go. If you ask if I’m okay and I seem hesitant, it’s a no. It’s your responsibility as a partner to also pick up signs that someone is uncomfortable. All involved characters have the obligation to stop if things feel uncomfortable. Not just the person who is uncomfortable.”
Another point discussed was the implication of a woman’s obligation to engage in sexual activities.
That is to say, women in relationships, marital or otherwise, feel a sense of guilty for “depriving” their partner of the pleasures of sex.
In a similar vein, martial sexual assault was touched upon. A spouse’s right to reject sexual proposition is a topic not often acknowledged during discussion of sexual assault, and It’s on Us felt this discussion was a great opportunity to shed some light on an often overlooked topic.
Masculinity actually played a very prevalent role in this discussion.
The panel made sure to acknowledge that the way men are educated on how sexuality works contributes to a society of stoic abusers and empathizers of attackers.
As the discussion started to wrap up, It’s on Us demonstrated how a discussion doesn’t end just because the seats start to empty.
It’s On us proposed a collaboration with SXU Spectrum Alliance.
The hope was to work together on some sort of skit with queer people to exemplify how sexual violence can impact the community.
Alshoweat displayed an overwhelming sense of responsibility to not enlist strictly cisgendered heterosexual volunteers to act and speak on behalf of the LGBTQIA+ community that attend Saint Xavier University.
Jose Tinajero, President of Spectrum Alliance, shared mutual interest in joining forces.
When asked what other dialogues did the group feel needed to be heard, a diverse array were brought up.
Domestic sexual assault, ones that occur at home within family, was considered. Sexual violence directly targeting the asexual community also warranted of a deeper analysis.
Mental disability was also brought up, and its role in blurring the lines of sexual violence.
Needless to say, the final moments gave It’s On Us a lot of material to work with in the future.
Eric Perez
News Reporter
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