Meggie Royer, 23, is a photographer and author of poetry collections known as “Survival Songs”, “The No You Never Listened to”, and “Healing Old Wounds with New Stitches”. Royer is vocal through her poetry about heavy topics like sexual assault, mental illness, and domestic abuse. She has worked as a domestic violence educator and has had her poems appear in Words Dance Magazine, Winter Tangerine Review, and Rib Cage Chicago Literary Magazine. Meggie’s work can also be found on social media, such as her Tumblr blog.
What do you love about being a poet? Is there anything you dislike about being a poet?
What I love most about being a poet is that unusual feeling you sometimes get after writing a poem when you think, “I have never written something like this before, and it is magnificent.” That rare, blissful moment of pride when every ounce of writer’s block and every ounce of low writer’s self-esteem becomes worth it. The only thing I really dislike about being a poet is the sense that each new poem has to be better than the last – that you always have to keep progressing and that it’s not okay to stay static. I think sometimes, a bit of struggle can be so necessary, but I still catch myself falling into the trap of feeling like I need to write better and better each time.
What works are you most proud of?
The two poems I am most proud of are “I Want You” and “Testimony.” I’m most proud of “I Want You” because I had just started reading some of Sarah Kane’s work, and it was so visceral and gripping and dark and out of control that I knew I wanted that feeling to manifest in my own poems, and I think I somehow managed to capture that feeling in “I Want You.” Normally I try to write very neatly and matter-of-factly, but that piece was more stream-of-consciousness, and I really enjoyed writing that way. I’m also proud of “Testimony” because it was written about a very traumatic experience of sexual violence, and I think in that poem I was able to write out something I had been burying for a long time, especially a very particular aspect of that experience.
Do you have any advice for aspiring poets?
The best advice I can give aspiring poets is to remember that writer’s block is bound to happen. It just will, unfortunately. I had writer’s block recently for what felt like half a year…I went from writing one poem a day to maybe one every few weeks. I didn’t realize, though, that sometimes writing a “terrible” poem can be better than writing none at all. I should have been writing those “terrible” poems just to get my brain working again, but I was so focused on writing polished pieces that I lost out on that potential creativity for awhile. Sometimes, you can “take advantage” of writer’s block by using it to write about subjects you otherwise never would write about, or in styles you would otherwise never try. It may be ugly, but it could get you somewhere.
Who are some poets that have inspired you?
My favorite poets are Bob Hicok (I have never read poetry like his before; his work reminds me of shadows and light and movement), Richard Siken, Natalie Eilbert (she writes about trauma in a terribly moving and poignant way), Emily O’Neill, Brynn Saito, and Alex Dimitrov.
I like to write poetry as well, and I find that having journals is more satisfying than typing. Do you prefer to handwrite or type?
I really love hearing whether people prefer handwriting or typing. I started out writing by writing in journals, and I would fill page after page with poems, but since then I’ve found writing by typing to be much easier – just because I can do it more quickly, and it hurts my hand less. But sometimes I do miss that early feeling of writing by hand.
Would you rather write poetry about fiction or nonfiction?
This might be sneaky, but both together! My favorite writing technique is to combine fantasy or made-up elements with true facts or true stories. I just like the combination and I prefer it to writing about entirely fiction or non-fiction alone.
Do you have any unique habits or routines when you write?
I’m not really sure I have any “unique” habits, but I do have routines. Before I start writing a poem, I always go to my favorite journals and read several poems out of their issues to kind of get my creative blood flowing. I typically like reading The Adroit Journal for that purpose before writing a poem. I think a lot of writers also typically edit their pieces quite a bit, but I’ve never really been one to do that. I proofread and spell-check, but I’ve never really re-written lines or portions of a poem. I kind of just like to keep them as is.
You wrote the poem “On Having A Boyfriend With OCD”, which has left a massive imprint on many people, including me. Is there a backstory to this poem?
Thank you so much! There isn’t really much of a backstory to it – I did once date a man with OCD, but only for a short period of time, and it was a few years after I had written that poem. I just wrote the poem because at the time, I was studying various mental illnesses and was interested in what a relationship with someone diagnosed with OCD might be like. I didn’t want to demonize individuals who suffer from OCD; I wanted to provide a window into their everyday experiences and show that individuals with mental illness can still have meaningful, beautiful relationships (although obviously the relationship in question in the poem did not end happily). Many people have asked me whether that poem was inspired by Neil Hilborn’s OCD poem, but I hadn’t seen his poem until sometime after writing mine.
Because most of your poems focus on heavy topics, do you ever feel hesitant before publishing?
I’ve never really felt hesitant about publishing heavy topics. When I feel hesitant in regards to writing or publishing, it’s typically more because I feel uncomfortable with people close to me reading the poems I’ve written about those topics. Even though a large audience reads my work, I still feel very private about my most intimate poems. But I think that’s something I need to work on, and I will keep trying to become more comfortable with it.
What is the publishing process like?
Publishing a book can be fairly stressful, but ultimately rewarding. I think the most difficult part is finding a publisher and establishing trust with that publisher, making sure they enter into a contract with you and will pay you a fair amount of royalties, etc. Finding a publisher that will stick to their word and to the contract can be difficult sometimes. My first publisher did not stick to our contract and never paid me a single cent, so I am very wary about publishing relationships now, although I have had several trustworthy and respectful ones since that first book. Writing new pieces for the book, or choosing old pieces to add to the book, is also difficult. Sometimes I want to have a themed book, and other times I just want a collection of assorted unthemed poems, and that decision is tricky as well. I would definitely say the second hardest part of publishing, after finding a reputable and trustworthy publisher, is coming up with a book title….it takes me quite a while to do that. Sometimes I come up with several and then hem and haw about them before finally deciding on one.
If you could give one piece of advice for female college students, what would it be?
Never, ever take your support networks for granted. Don’t focus solely on one person, no matter how much you love or care for them – make sure to pay attention to the other loved ones in your lives too. Never depend on just one person for your happiness. I was in the hospital once related to an experience of sexual violence perpetrated by someone I dearly loved, and whom I continued to protect, and I remember the nurse saying “Don’t hurt yourself over a boy.” That’s the best advice I could have received, and it took me a long time to realize that.
And when you are suffering, don’t bury it for the sake of not embarrassing yourself.
There is nothing embarrassing about suffering. It is only human, and there are people who will help you.
Alma Tovar
Features Reporter