Saint Xavier’s commuters are often an overlooked bunch. Yet, they are the school’s silent majority, its underappreciated lifeblood. If they disappeared, so would the university. So this week, I dedicate my column to them, specifically to their daily burden—parking. Being a commuter myself for three and a half years now, I have observed and experienced a number of parking situations that range from the mildly annoying to the extremely infuriating. I will share them with you here.
First, however, let me clarify that this article is not meant to be malicious in any way toward anyone. Rather, I hope you find it entertaining and have a couple “Oh yeah…that happens to me too” moments. So without further ado, here are my five most vexing parking situations at Saint Xavier.
The Narrow Parking Spots of Death:
If you ever attempt to park in parking lot 2, which is the small one in between the bookstore and Pacelli Hall, then you are attempting to park in the narrow parking spots of death. Getting in is not as hard, but backing out is agonizing because there is very little space between you and the car parked opposite to you. Now, I am sure there are a few hot shots reading this who could successfully maneuver an M1 tank in there. For the rest of you, however, I suggest you avoid that lot unless you drive a Volkswagen Beetle.
The Vultures:
Let’s face it, all of us commuters have been vultures at one time or another, circling around lot 12, waiting to pounce on the first person to pull out to take the spot. It’s survival of the fittest. Only the patient and perceptive drivers are rewarded, while the rest eventually give up and are forced to park in lot 1—the huge rookie lot. Of course, there is always the lucky guy who gets a spot on the first try. We don’t like him.
The Generally Annoying Layout of Campus:
Nothing against the people who designed our campus, but boy did they make it inconvenient to get from one side to the other. Basically, the half that contains the Shannon Center and Lake Marion is separated from the other half by the Warde Academic Center and the Residence Halls. So on tough parking days, it becomes quite a ride to check all of the lots because there is no way to legally cut across, unless you are Public Safety and can drive across that nifty little sidewalk of course.
The First Week Frenzy:
For some reason, it is almost impossible to find a parking spot on campus the first week of every semester, especially on Mondays and Wednesdays. Yet by the second week, I never have a problem. What happens to all of those people? Do they all drop? Do they suddenly find a secret underground parking lot to go to? My theory is that they get so scared of the parking situation at Saint Xavier the first week that they transfer out on the spot.
The Parking Spot Hoarders:
Now, I know finding parking spots on campus can often be difficult, but that is no reason to hoard spots when you do find them. Here I am speaking of the fellows who take up two spots with one vehicle, essentially taking a spot away from someone else who needs it. Let me be clear: If you do that, you are part of the problem and need to change. These people no doubt have a serious hoarding condition and deserve their own intervention show on A&E.
So there they are—my five most vexing parking situations at Saint Xavier. Now, I’m sure many of you can extend the list further, so tell me about your own parking annoyances or if any of the above really spoke to you.
Tony Bara, Editor in Chief
“The Unbarable Truth”
bara.a01@mymail.sxu.edu
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