The first date. One of the most exciting (and awkward) things you will ever have to do. Taking that first step is never easy, especially when you have no idea what to expect or what your date expects.
It is a common belief that the only way to really wow a woman on your first date is to spend a lot of money, be overly romantic and construct some kind of fairytale. Well with this article I am going to disprove that thought and paint you a picture of the ideal first date from the perspective of a woman. A first date that maximizes the fun and relaxation and minimizes the awkwardness and high expectations. So here it is, my ideal first date.
First and foremost, I have to be going on a date with someone I am excited to be seeing, someone that I genuinely want to go out with. As a side note, ladies, it is perfectly acceptable to say no. As flattering as it is, if a guy asks you out and you aren’t all that interested, please politely decline. Look at it this way, it’s a win-win, you’re saving him the future let down and you’re saving yourself from a super uncomfortable few hours. He’ll get over it, I promise.
Secondly, don’t pick me up, I’ll meet you there. I know men usually think it’s the noble and romantic thing to do to ride up in your expensive new car (or your mom’s old minivan) and sweep us off our feet. And you’re right, sometimes that’s nice. But save it for later. I will let you drive to my house and pick me up when we are better acquainted with each other.
And this may seem selfish, but if I provide my own means of transportation to the date, I can leave if things go south. If you say you’ve never made up an excuse in order to exit an awkward situation, you’re lying.
So where would I want to go on this perfect first date? I say keep it simple. Doing something extravagant and out of the ordinary doesn’t allow me to see the kind of person you are on a daily basis. I suggest something like going mini-golfing or meeting for a casual lunch or dinner.
I want to feel comfortable and relaxed, I want to be myself, and more important than anything, I want my date to be himself. There’s enough pressure on a first date as it is and there’s plenty of time for romance and black tie affairs later on in the relationship.
And perhaps my most strict and unusual first date rule: no movies! After all, a first date is all about getting to know someone and determining if you’re compatible. How well can we really do that sitting in dark theater not talking to each other?
In addition, if we did something cost money, the guy should pay. I don’t care how many times we say we’ll pick up the tab, don’t let us. This is not about the money anyway, it’s simply about showing your date that she was worth it and you are happy to be there.
Last but not least, my ideal date goes beyond the first date itself. As a general rule of thumb, if you want to see the person again, let them know. And if you don’t, let them know!
This goes for males and females and it is not always easy to do. But the whole first date experience is a get-to-know-you process and there’s nothing wrong with deciding you’re not compatible. Both parties can only benefit from the honesty. That way, that awesome first date may turn into an awesome relationship or you move on, but at least you know.
So to reiterate, I’ll drive myself, keep it simple, be yourself, no movies, pick up the tab and be honest. I, like most girls, am not looking for a fairytale first date. We appreciate your time more than your money, it’s not rocket science.
Bridget Goedke
Viewpoints Editor
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