Description: Discarded Little Caesars pizza outside the SXU Media Center
Source: The Xavierite
A debate was sparked on Instagram between The Xavierite and WXAV 88.3FM Chicago on Jan. 22 over the source of a tragically discarded Little Caesars pizza outside the SXU Campus Media Center. Who put it there? The Xavierite or WXAV?
The pizza, which was discovered by Director of Student Media Peter Kreten at approximately 11:15 a.m., had to have landed there sometime between 11 a.m. and 11:15 a.m. as the last staff member to enter the building at approximately 11 a.m. did not see the pizza located at the center of this debate.
First of all, who is buying an entire Little Caesars pizza at 11:15 a.m. on a Monday?
Second of all, are they okay?
What is most perplexing regarding this debacle is the question of how the pizza got there. Was some poor, unfortunate soul making their way out of class, filled with pure excitement to eat their delicious looking cheese pizza, and then slipped on the icy pavement just outside the door? Therefore losing their beloved lunch?
Is this a threat? A poorly thought out joke? A pure accident?
Can someone let us review the footage? Surely there must be some recording of this sordid affair.
There are two possible scenarios to explain how this occurred. The first being the pure accidental loss of someone’s lunch, a tragedy that is surely to ruin their day. I mean losing the entire pizza I just purchased to the wood chips would surely be my last straw.
The second scenario being that it was placed there by a member of WXAV, for what reason I am not sure of. There is nothing to gain from the loss of this pizza, rather it is a senseless loss of both food and money.
“Tragedy occurred outside of our building today. We are at a loss for words. RIP” states the Instagram post from WXAV, which originally kicked off the debate. The post featured an admittedly comical zoom in on the abandoned pizza.
This series of events also was chronicled on both The Xavierite and WXAV’s Instagram stories, with the original story post coming from The Xavierite telling WXAV to “stop littering” alongside a picture of the tragically lost pizza.
In response to this, WXAV noted on their story that one, they do not litter and two, the pizza was located at the entrance near The Xavierite’s office.
However it must be noted that the door outside which the pizza was found is not functioning properly and all those entering the building have been using the door located down by WXAV. This is a known fact among those who frequent the Campus Media Center.
The Xavierite added that the paper would be bringing the radio station to “SGA Court” where they would expect a fair trial. It is here that WXAV began to lose the battle, with the response of “That’s a strong accusation! We will defend ourselves in court.”
The truth will prevail and The Xavierite will once again be proven noble, despite the radio’s response to this post of “The truth will and we will be vindicated”.
Other members of the university responded with stories such as “@wxavchicago this is TEAAAA” and “@xavieritenewspaper y’all are wrong for that” from the SXU Spectrum Alliance organization.
Maybe this disastrous event is simply the consequence of slippery pavement and a broken door, or maybe it was not.
Another response on The Xavierite’s poll suggested that the pizza was placed there by the geese. While I am not sure how a goose would have the dexterity, let alone the money, to order a pizza; I do not doubt that if the geese had these abilities they would have been the culprits.
Today is a good day to be a squirrel on the SXU campus, but an absolutely horrible day to be whoever dropped that pizza.
Fret not! The pizza has since been thrown out by a member of The Xavierite, so maybe it also is not a good day to be a squirrel on campus.
The large takeaway from this scandal is better said by the namesake of this pizza’s origin, Little Caesars. “But I am constant as the Northern Star, of whose true fixed and resting quality. There is no fellow in the firmament” said the great Julius Caesar, do not be swayed by the persuasions of others.
If this is your pizza, or you know whose it was, please contact The Xavierite at thexavieritenewspaper@gmail.com. I am perplexed and intrigued by this occurrence, and would love to know the story behind this.