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We’ve reached the haunting month of October, you know what that means? Horror films and terrifying images. Murderous night dwellers and tragic endings. We’ll be venturing into the traditional cliches of slasher films and figuring out if they have improved or just sunk to the bottom of Crystal Lake.
What makes a horror film extraordinary and not “Child’s Play”? It is when suspense becomes a killer’s secretive assistant. It shackles you to the edge of your seat, and leaves your soul to be devoured by nightmares.
You have faced them once, but can you face them again with sharper wit? In this article, I will be providing you with an artillery of some overdone cliches that might help if you are ever approached by a psychopath.
Cliche #1: Universities seek diversity, but in horror films diversity gets you killed. Unless you are Busta Rhymes who happens to know martial arts and kicks Michael Myers out the window, this would not apply to you. Of course, I am referencing “Halloween Resurrection”. Let us just all agree not to be a hero when we are being chased, because that is what gets you killed. Along with that, one stone that decides “Hey, I’m going to trip you!”
Cliche #2: When the killer is chasing you, do not wave your arms frantically pleading for help, because no one will come to your rescue. I am talking about the authority figures and the clueless neighbors. They have time to welcome you to the neighborhood, but when it comes to you being chased by a psycho “sorry, we are not home”.
Cliche #3: Ever noticed how the killer always uses blades for weapons? Firearms are useless in the horror world for a victim because either they run out of ammo or they throw it at the killer as if it will stop him in his tracks.
Cliche #4: Just when you think he is dead and the nightmare is over you are wrong! Please do not hover over the killer to double check if he is dead because we both know all horror slashers are immortal. As if I am supposed to be scared of an immortal doll! Psshh.
Cliche #5: Sex gets you killed! Almost reminds you of that inappropriate gym teacher from “Mean Girls” telling his students in health education, “Don’t have sex because… you will die.” Indeed, he was right, but if you happen to be a virgin you are one of the lucky ones who survives.
Cliche#6: Who in their right mind would go into an abandoned home where clearly it has been said there is evil? Oh yeah, the cliche of going into a restricted area because “Hey! There definitely is not a killer or evil spirit in the house waiting to kill us.” This leads to overdone cliche of splitting up.
Cliche #7:The Killer is usually always masked or is conveyed as having a deformed face. As if it is not enough that they are trying to kill you
Cliche #8: When someone is hiding and they pant so loud that the killer decides to return back into the room because they heard that person. Instead of the loud panting they should replace it with a stomach growl. That would add originally, but in all seriousness, you might as well show yourself and save a jump scare. That brings me to another traditional cliche: the jump scare. This cliche is notoriously used after the building of suspense to scare the victim of the chase.
Cliche #9: When a character is trapped with the killer in a home and the victim runs everywhere except for the front door! They make their life more difficult by jumping out the window. Come on, the door is right there!
Cliche #10: Alright, so the victim somehow manages to escape the home, runs to the car and drops the keys. They pick them up, struggling to find the right key and when they get in the car, yes you guessed it, the car decides to not turn on. Leading to death.
Cliche #11: I do not know why in horror films they feel the need to over exaggerate the amount of blood loss, making it seem as if the human body is a giant blood balloon. One has to wonder if blood may vary on production budget, then they must be like “Hey guys, we got more money for blood!”
Cliches may be overused in horror films, but they keep on coming because we love them no matter how stupid they may be.
We like to think “that can not possibly happen to me” or yell at our screens saying “Do not go there! Run!!!!” and other ridiculous ramblings as if they could hear us.
Out of all these cliches, one that I did not mention was the not so traditional killer camouflage where the ones closest to the victim has been and was the killer the whole time.
This cliche is my favorite of all. How awesome would it be to think your dog was behind all the murders?
But in all seriousness, cliches are what makes a horror film great.
You always end up being the smart witted one yelling in the theater.
Jorge Pliego
Features Editor
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