BREAKING NEWS! This is Brian Laughran, your wartime reporter, on the frontlines of the warzone known as Battlefield Christmas.
With December now upon us, consumers have finally fallen to Christmas. I repeat: we are being occupied by Christmas.
This occupation is approximated to last until December 26 when the Boxing Day liberators are expected to make a play in this ongoing conflict.
We are near the end folks. For the last two months, Christmas has stolen the limelight from Halloween and Thanksgiving.
The hype for Christmas is to culminate in a matter of weeks and the months of planning and preparing will all be laid to rest.
The after-Christmas feeling of another year come and gone will begin to set in and set our sights forward to New Year’s.
It is incredible that one day (two if you count Christmas Eve) gets practically three months of hype.
For some, this can be a splitting headache; there are people who hate the Christmas season and see it as a commercial sell-out.
Then there are those on the opposite side of the spectrum who soak in all three months of Christmas glory.
Halloween and Thanksgiving are formalities to these folk. Then there are a select few who try to embrace Christmas without really embracing it.
The White House, for example, fits into this category. For the first time in this country’s history, the White House called its light-clad pine tree a “holiday tree” as opposed to the Christmas variety.
Certain municipalities also resort to this tactic of celebrating but dodging the celebration. It’s like they think people are stupid. What the hell is a “holiday tree?”
Everyone knows what that pine tree is doing in your house; calling it anything different just comes across as pandering to morons who think being hyper-politically correct is something to be proud of.
If one day this country elects a Jewish president, I doubt that president would go out of their way to refer to the White House menorah as “a holiday candelabra with eight arms” or the White House dradle as a “holiday festive top.”
I am not going to go so far as to say that the public is attacking Christmas; the three months of Christmas decorum being sold in retailers everywhere is proof of the contrary. But, I will say people are too sensitive.
Anything religion-related immediately becomes taboo when spoken about in a public forum. It is hypocritical, really.
This country was up in arms in 2008 when it was alleged that then presidential candidate Barack Obama was Muslim (this would have deviated from the streak of Christian presidents that have held office).
I don’t get it; how can Americans be so enraged that someone in our nation’s highest office may not be a Christian and then force that same person to ignore their Christian beliefs?
I am not advocating that church and state be viewed in the same light.
I am just asking that we call it spade-for-spade, otherwise it is patronizing and it panders to the wrong people – the overly sensitive.
Now, I am sure some of you readers are wondering why I am now defending the title of Christmas tree when I have been complaining about Christmas for the last few months.
Well, yeah, but if I am going to have something shoved in my face then I do not want to be patronized as if it is not.
I would just like to conclude this series by actually wishing you all a very merry Christmas and thanks for playing along with this faux-wartime report.
So, for the last time on the subject, I’m Brian Laughran reporting from the frontlines of Battlefield Christmas. Good night, good luck and happy holidays.