When I was in the seventh grade, I created my first ever instagram account. I thought Facebook was for “moms” and avoided it, but I did see that my peers had Instagram. I didn’t want to miss out on the online world they were a part of, so I joined them.
After I created the account, I was so excited to be a part of social media. I didn’t have many friends in middle school, and I hoped that by having this new social media account I could have more friends at school.
I’d be able to know what everyone was doing outside of school, who was spending time with who, who was dating who, and the drama I felt like everyone but myself knew and talked about.
I immediately looked up the names of my peers in order to find and follow their accounts, hoping to gain insight into their more interesting and popular lives, and with the hope that maybe they would follow me back!
If they followed me back, maybe I could become popular like them too!
Throughout both middle and high school, I remained quiet and shy, having few friends, and was anything but “popular”.
I quickly became disinterested in the social lives of my peers and of the relationship drama that everyone else seemed to know about.
However, I remained interested in seeing what my peers were doing outside of school, going to parties, going to the mall together, having sleepovers, as I watched movies and played card games with my siblings on Saturday nights.
I felt more alone and isolated at school, believing that everyone but me had perfect social lives.
Everyone was having fun, except for me. I was all alone.
It was an unhealthy cycle that deteriorated my mental health. It can be hard to believe that other people’s lives are imperfect, just like your own.
When I wasn’t looking at posts of people having a great time without me, I was bombarded with negative unhealthy content.
I was constantly subjected to posts that discussed depression, anxiety, suicide, lonliness, grief, and pain.
The more I was subjected to it, the more I was drawn to it because I felt like I wasn’t the only one who was lonely and going through hardships.
Rather than being comforted though, my pain slowly began to grow.
It took over six years for me to realize that the popular social media was ruining my mental health.
I felt as though it was normal to feel the way I felt, lonely and isolated, as I saw other people having fun without me.
I felt like I didn’t matter because at school, no one paid any attention to me. Most people didn’t know my name. It became easy to forget about my family that loves me greatly, as I became more focused on the isolation I felt at school.
And I believed that my feelings of isolation were normal.
It wasn’t until I reached out for help that I realized these feelings were not normal, and I needed to do something to change the way I feel. Such as spending more time with those who love me rather than isolating myself at home.
This helped immensely, but it wasn’t until recently that I realized that the content I was subjected to on Instagram, was the reason my mental health began to dwindle in the first place.
It wasn’t until I deleted the app and disconnected myself from the fraudulent world of negativity, that I began to notice a large improvement in my mood.
Rather than focusing on what I was missing out on, I was forced to be present in the moment.
I was able to appreciate everything around me so much more, such as my family and nature. I also regained my confidence, which helped me make new friends and form stronger connections with my family.
Deleting the app was one of the best decisions I ever made. My mental health has improved drastically since I’ve forced myself to disconnect from the toxic world known as Instagram.
For those who use Instagram and other social media apps, such as Facebook and TikTok, I recommend that you delete them too. You might be surprised as to how much your mental health will improve.