Rejoice Bob’s Burger fans far and wide, while you may not be able to visit the greasy hole in the wall itself, the creators of the show have toiled away to bring the outlandish recipes to your kitchen. T
he Bob’s Burger Book: Real Recipes for Joke Burgers by Loren Bouchard, The Writers of Bob’s Burgers and Cole Bowden is set to release in just a week. In his free time Bowden runs a blog dedicated to Bob’s Burger of the Day chalkboard featured on the FOX show.
His Tumblr, “The Bob’s Burger Experiment” involves lots of foodie puns and creative combinations. It was Bouchard who took notice of Bowden’s adapted recipes and approached him about potentially getting involved in the endeavor. The Bob’s Burgers Burger Book (try saying that five times) will be available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble March 22.
While I ret conned the three recipes that I chose to test out from the blog, I tried to remain as faithful as possible to Bowden’s directions. For some reason there was whole wheat flour in my cabinet and I decided to roll with it. Let’s say it adds more character, and by character I mean throat scraping grit.
If you can, always use all purpose white flour. All ingredient measurements are subject to change due to your intended serving size; use your own discretion.
Taste Score Card:
“Little Miss Bunshine”: 4.5 stars (savory and smoky)
“Blue is the Warmest Cheese Burger”: 3 stars (tart and tangy)
“Hummus a Tune”: 2 stars (light and sweet)
“Hummus A Tune Burger”: Season 4, Ep 18: Ambergris
You’ll Need:
(The original recipe calls for homemade hummus but ain’t nobody got time for that. Substitute in some store bought hummus).
Ground beef
1 tsp salt
Original hummus (code for plain)
1-2 large red peppers depending on intended serving
Raging Red Peppers
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cut your pepper in half, and scoop out those annoying seeds. Roast in oven for 20-35 minutes. Keep an eye on it or it’ll shrivel up and burn.
Take out of the oven and leave covered for 20 more minutes, slice into slivers.
Concerning the Burger:
Salt and cook those patties! You know the deal by now.
Place your patty on a bun and spread on a big helping of hummus. Top with as many slice peppers as your heart desires.
“”Little Miss Bunshine Burger””: Season 2, Ep 7: Moody Foodie
You’ll Need:
Ground Beef
Swiss Cheese
Pretzel Bun
Mushrooms
Onions
Butter
For the Gravy:
Flour
Vegetable/Chicken/Beef Stock (I used a beef bouillon cube for flavor )
A Gravy Matter:
1. For the gravy melt a quarter of a stick of butter in a sauce pan on medium high. Add in finely diced onions and sauté until golden. At this point I crushed up and stirred in the bouillon cube. Gradually add in a quarter cup of all purpose flour and continuously stir. Seriously keep stirring, this stuff gets clumpy.
2. Add half a cup of stock or water and stir vigorously as if your life depends on it. Let it thicken, and then add in another half cup. Keep on low heat.
3. The gravy mixture should be thick and spreadable.
Concerning the Burger:
Melt butter in fry pan on low heat. Caramelize the onions (you can slice them thinly like onion rings) and mushrooms in frying pan for 15 to 30 minutes or until golden brown. Remember to stir.
After you fry that beef patty, butter up that sweet pretzel bun and toast it. Buns need love, too.
Spread a spoonful of gravy on the bottom bun, add the patty, onions and mushrooms, another helping of gravy and a slice of Swiss cheese.
“Blue is the Warmest Cheese Burger” : Season 5, Ep 9: Speakeasy Rider
You’ll Need:
Ground beef
Buffalo sauce
Bleu cheese sauce
lettuce
buns (I used Kaiser rolls)
1-4 stalks of celery (depending on your intended serving)
For Buffalo Sauce and Bleu Cheese Sauce:
2/3 cup hot sauce
1 stick of butter
2 tbsp white vinegar (I ended up using apple cider vinegar)
¼ tsp cayenne pepper
a pinch of salt
2 cups bleu cheese crumbles
2 cups whole milk
2 tbsp butter
1 white onion, finely diced
4 tbsp all purpose flour
Get Saucy:
For buffalo sauce toss all of your ingredients (hot sauce, butter, vinegar, cayenne and salt) in a saucepan, mixing over medium heat until the butter has melted. Stir well.
For the bleu cheese sauce, in separate pan, melt butter over medium heat . Add in the onion, and cook until tender. And your flour and stir vigorously. (I got excited and made the mistake of dumping everything in at once. Make sure you follow these steps first before adding the cheese). Gradually add in the milk, making sure to stir. It’s all in the elbows.
Add in the bleu cheese and mix until it becomes creamy.
Concerning the Burger:
Dice your celery into teeny tiny little bits.
Fold the celery and 2/3 of the buffalo sauce into the raw ground beef. DON’T BE SCARED. Get your hands dirty. Fry up those patties.
Place some lettuce on your bottom bun, drop the burger like hot mixtape and slather on your bleu cheese sauce. Drizzle on some more buffalo sauce if you want the extra heat. Enjoy!
Zhana Johnson
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