Dear Punxsutawney Phil,
There are so many things that I don’t understand about you. I’ll start off with the very short list of things I do know.
You’re a groundhog. You live in Punxsutawney, Penn. Every Groundhog’s Day, you predict whether or not we will have another six weeks of winter depending on if you see your shadow. Most importantly, you were in a film with Bill Murray.
Now that we have that out of the way, I would like to ask you some questions.
Is Phil your real name, or did you used to be Steve or Carl or Mr. Muffins? Is Phil a stage name?
Seriously, there are so many Hollywood stars that use a fake name or “stage name” that I wouldn’t be surprised if you were one of them.
Are you related to all the other Punxsutawney Phils that have gone before you?
Is being Phil something that runs in your family like being the Queen or can it go to anyone like being Santa (at least according to The Santa Clause, which is totally true)?
I think it would be cool to follow in your dad and grandpa’s footsteps, but at the same time, you could have wanted to become an interior designer, and you would have had no choice in the matter.
I hope that’s not true because I think you would have made a great interior designer and you should follow your dreams.
That brings me to my next question. What are your qualifications to predict the weather? Did you have to go through some school and get a degree in Meteorology to land this gig or was it just a course at a community college?
There’s nothing wrong if you just took a class or two, but I want to know how I could also learn to tell how much longer winter will last just by crawling out of the ground and looking at my shadow. I think it would look really good on a resume.
I know that the economy is getting rough. Do you predict the weather for other holidays? Maybe you could tell us if we’ll have a white Christmas to make a little extra money.
If times get really hard, you might want to look into getting that degree in meteorology if you didn’t already get it and become a weather…groundhog. I would totally watch that to get the weather.
If you aren’t trying to make ends meet by picking up odd jobs, what do you do with your time? Do you have any hobbies?
Do you have a significant other (if so are they a groundhog or something else)? I bet they are very nice. Do you live in Punxsutawney all the time?
Are you getting annoyed by all the questions I’m asking you?
I’m starting to think you don’t even speak English. I don’t think you do.
Thanks,
Becki
Becki Brown
Editor in Chief