With Thanksgiving already behind us and Christmas coming down the pike, the holiday season is in full swing.
This means food, music, presents and yep you guessed it….time with your family.
You may be part of a family that sees each other often (perhaps a little too much) or your family may only see each other during the holiday season.
But regardless of the type of circus…I mean family….you’re born into, holiday family gatherings are bound to provoke family fights and uncomfortable conversations.
My family has been lucky enough to put aside many of our differences and become a lot closer in recent years but that certainly does not mean we agree on everything.
As I reflect on family gatherings as a child, I can recall family members broaching sensitive topics during our holiday festivities which inevitably lead to tears, a dramatic storm out or at the very least some tangible tension and stress.
My Dad always used to just accept this as part of the holiday season, whenever someone would start yelling, crying or pouting my dad would always turn to my mom and exclaim “Happy Holidays!”
I, like my father, have come to accept that these family disagreements are just a part of the natural family dynamic and unfortunately they just tend to bubble to the surface when we are all together in close quarters and under the pressure of the holiday season.
So this got me thinking, what is the best way to handle and even avoid these conversational bombs if we can during the holidays?
I would like to begin my answer by stating that I (as I have also learned from father) am completely in favor of family debates and controversial conversations. After all, if we can’t talk to our family, who can we talk to?
However, the older I get, the more I tend to adopt the belief that, although there will always be family tension and we will be aware of it, it may be best to simply let sleeping dogs lie during the holidays.
It can never hurt to avoid topics that have caused problems in the past.
In other words, if you don’t go looking for trouble, chances are you won’t find any.
It’s important to keep in mind that the holidays are meant to be an enjoyable time for everyone and we want to remember them in a positive light.
You may have been waiting all year to see Uncle Steve and continue your political cage match, but consider that Christmas dinner may not be the best time.
We want to remember the holidays because of the happiness and togetherness we felt, not because someone started the argument of the century and someone stormed out leaving the rest of the family feeling awkward and uncomfortable.
Avoiding those tension-filled topics may not always be easy to do but I am sure you will find that there is plenty of other things to talk about, you are family so there has to be common ground somewhere.
So for the time being, save the heated arguments for tomorrow, eat some turkey and enjoy the company of your family.
After all, you are stuck with them whether you like it or not.
Happy Holidays!
Bridget Goedeke
Viewpoints Editor