My Current Journal The Xavierite
I carry around a small brown notebook with me everywhere I go and fill it up with just about anything. Although I’m fairly new to it, journaling is a good space to explore writing and convey thoughts.
I used to try and write in a diary when I was younger, but that only ever lasted a couple days. It was hard for me to become consistent because I felt so constrained and limited.
I had many misconceptions about how I should be writing, almost creating a set of nonexistent rules. However, journaling doesn’t have a set of rules to follow or conform to.
I was quick to assume that my diary entries had to be long and easy to read. I felt this pressure to write as if someone else were to read my entries. Of course, neither of these are true.
That’s what made the process special, because I’ve come to understand that I get to choose the kind of subject matter I want in my notebook. There is a great amount of creative room I have to make me feel the most comfortable when writing.
Up until recently I would write in chronological order, starting by writing the start of my day till the end. It felt overwhelming to write a play by play, so I attempted writing about particular moments instead.
Those kinds of decisions are essential in discovering the best way we can express ourselves while writing. Writing doesn’t have to feel like a task, it should feel like an escape.
It doesn’t hurt to experiment with different writing styles either because I’ve discovered what I like and hate. As someone who enjoys visuals, I’ve taken the route of doodling or adding photos into my entries.
Even the decision of picking my journal was done with care. Initially I had started with a journal that had plain blank sheets, which I grew to hate and retire.
The writing part itself is so flexible and doesn’t have an assigned place or time. I’ve written in the mornings before school, on the bus, in class, and in the middle of the night.
Thoughts have no assigned time, they come and they go. Writing can reflect that. Whenever I have a thought I need to get on paper, I write it. That’s helped me be at peace.
Sometimes my thoughts are too much at once and it feels like I’m thinking in circles. Writing it all out has slowed my racing mind down and eventually finds the root of the problem.
Writing out my thought process has led me to understand why I’m feeling a certain way. It can get intense writing about something deep, but I’ve found it freeing to let that weight be lifted off my chest.
I’ve had moments where I push away my emotions or thoughts and believe that avoiding them will expel them. I find it crucial to write in those moments, so that those feelings can be translated somewhere else.
It can be difficult conveying a thought and getting stuck not knowing what to write about. I’ve found it useful to find writing prompts and questions. Bookstores sell premade journals filled with hundreds of prompts to answer daily.
Emotions should never be pent up, that’s just a recipe for disaster or a bomb waiting to explode. Finding clarity in writing will make these emotions become manageable in the long run.
It’s helped me find my voice and tone which has translated into my academic writing. It’s gotten much easier overtime to do writing assignments and papers because I’ve learned how to present my style and voice.
One of my favorite parts about journaling is how easily I’m able to flip back through my pages and read my past entries. It’s a clear way to see how I’ve grown and lets me reflect on myself in new entries.
The consistency in journaling was hard for me to find, but once I’ve found my rhythm, I found it easier to sit down and write in one sitting. Now I’m in a place where I’m more in tune with myself.
Journaling shouldn’t feel like a task or like homework. It might take a while to find the right way of doing it because all of our brains are molded differently. We will have different needs to be met in our writing.
Once I’ve found the groove of things, it’s become another resource in my journey of self improvement, self-discovery and emotional regulation. I feel grounded with myself for once.