Most everyone has heard a scary statistic about how common domestic violence is and all the ways that people are trying to put an end to it. These efforts are vital for so many people in abusive relationships, as they provide help during or after the relationship.
Domestic violence is scary. Being hurt by someone you love and trust cannot be explained or brushed away. Intimate partner violence can appear in many forms and ways such as sexual, physical, emotional, psychological, and financial.
Each one of these is just as damaging as the other . Regardless of how or how often a victim is abused, their pain is valid and they should be given a route to heal. Luckily, there are hotlines, shelters, counseling and other steps to protecting yourself and healing. Unfortunately, most of these efforts, statistics, and conversations revolve around heterosexual couples. Any type of relationship that isn’t one man and one woman is abandoned.
And this doesn’t mean that the LGBTQ+ community doesn’t experience domestic violence, because in fact it is more common. Limiting conversations to only straight people make abusive relationships in the LGBTQ+ community harder to talk about, heal from, and leave.
Domestic violence within the LGBTQ+ community is something that needs to be discussed more often. Frankly, no type of domestic violence is talked about enough, but the LGBTQ+ community is left even further in the dark than straight people. Domestic violence effects 35% of heterosexual women, 43.8% of lesbian women, and 61.1% of bisexual women. 29% of heterosexual men have experiences Troy Marston takes a call at Domestic Violence Advocacy Center. Ana Venegas/Orange County Register/TNS stalking or physical violence by a partner, as opposed to 26% of gay men and 37.3% of bisexual men. Trans folk are more likely to be in an abusive relationship than anyone else.
While every community can be and is affected by domestic violence, the LGBTQ+ community is not a focus of conversations. Instead, they live in fear that if they ask for help, they will not get any. In the LGBTQ+ community, 45% of victims don’t report domestic violence to the police out of fear they will not help them. Homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, and all prejudices result in the disbelief of victims and denial of services. In addition, the LGBTQ+ community faces other barriers when it comes to reporting or asking for help, such as fears that they will be outed, lack of education on resources available to them, and that shelters tend to be female only, deterring trans folk from seeking shelter or not being allowed to stay.
All of this said, there is hope. There are hotlines and shelters available for victims of domestic violence. If you or someone you love is a victim, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1800-799- 7233 and they will listen and get you local services. Another resource is Pillars Community 24-hour sexual assault hotline at 708-482-9600.
Domestic violence needs to be part of the conversation when we talk about dating and relationships. People need to know their resources and know that they are not alone and never need to be.
Emma Farina
Opinions Columnist