As I was flipping through the cable channels the other day, I stopped to scroll through the listings for the History Channel. As a history major and someone who likes to read nonfiction for fun, I am always eager to learn about the past. However, what I saw when I reached the channel shocked me.
Several grown men were splashing around a filthy swamp attempting to catch a fish with their bare hands. The footage was occasionally cut to reveal some southern backcountry fellow explaining how he dealt himself a “five gallon bucket a woopass tryna to reign in dat pesky catfish.”
I soon found out that the name of this spectacle was Hillbilly Handfishin’.” Unfortunately, the program lineup did not improve as the day progressed. Next up was “Ax Men,” followed by “Top Gear.” All were basically reality shows which had little to nothing to do with history.
It was at that point that I came to a horrific realization—the History Channel was turning into MTV! At first I thought to myself, Hillbilly Handfishin’? Who goes to the History Channel to watch this garbage?” But then I came to another horrific realization. The reason this program continues to be on is because the ratings must justify its survival, meaning that people actually watch it!
This is actually no surprise. The emergence of such mindless programming on the History Channel is simply an extension of our reality TV culture into the realm of supposedly educational programming. I call it the “Snooki Effect.” In case you don’t know, Snooki is the Jersey Shore star who is famous for doing absolutely nothing besides degrading our culture and diluting the world’s collective intelligence. Yet, she is much smarter than the poor sheep who watch her programs because she is still making millions at the end of the day.
Anyway, the “Snooki Effect” is spreading. Like a plague, it is radiating out from the cesspool that is MTV and VH1 and into the rest of TV land. As a result, the Discovery Channel now has shows like Amish Mafia. At least here there still is some “discovering” of the Amish community going on, despite all the drama. The same cannot be said for Hillbilly Handfishin’ as I have no idea how any connection to history can be made.
Our culture has become so enthralled with pure entertainment, that we will not watch anything without drama or crazy antics. In fact, the “Snooki Effect” has even reached our news. Some of the top news programs that people watch are The O’Reilly Factor and Hardball with Chris Matthews, both of which are known for their lively hosts who purposely get into verbal fights with guests to increase their ratings. Regular news shows where the anchor, you know, reports the news, are considered boring and their ratings are beginning to suffer.
We are all guilty of supporting this reality show culture from time to time, but when you think about it, it makes no sense. Don’t we have enough drama in our lives? No matter where you work or go to school, there is drama. Even here at The Xavierite it feels like I am part of an ABC Family soap opera at times.
You would think we have enough of the drama and would be running from it. Yet that is not the case. We want it to permeate every aspect of our lives apparently. So is there an antidote to the “Snooki Effect”? Unfortunately, I feel this illness has so swept our culture that a complete cure may not be possible barring some giant collapse of civilization.
Treatment is possible, however, if we identify the problem and take active steps to reduce its effects. Instead of watching reality TV, watch traditional dramas or comedies for entertainment. At least there you are supporting legitimate actors. Instead of exclusively watching hothead news anchors who will stand on their heads for ratings, watch a “duller” newscast where you actually get succinct, unbiased news. And if you don’t want to do any of that, then for the love of Pete at least never watch Hillbilly Handfishin’. With a little luck it will get canceled.
Tony Bara
Editor in Chief
The Unbarable Truth