Senior year of high school. You were the top of the food chain, got the best lunch seats, and obtained all the ego that gets associated with being a legal adult in a school filled with 14 to 17 year olds.
Then comes college. After hours, days, weeks, or maybe even months working on your college applications, waiting for an acceptance letter to your dream school, only to have the full effect of sticker shock apparent when you get in. All those APs, Honors, service hours, and leadership positions don’t mean much if the state or university is broke, huh?
Loved it or hated it, high school was a time of growth and character development. For some, high school somewhat prepared them for the challenges you would face in college, for others, it was like jumping into the deep end.
For me, it was a bit of both. I’m still a first year, so I may not have grasped all that there is to know about how university life works, but I do know where I messed up, and hopefully you all (incoming first years and above) can find something valuable from my mistakes.
Mistake #1: Not knowing how to self-advocate.
I’d like to think I’m pretty level headed. It takes a lot to get a rise out of me, and I could probably count on one hand the amount of times I got truly angry at something. I think this is partly because I’ve learned to put up with a lot and just figure out how to deal with it, partly because I learned to let things roll off my shoulders and not get affected.
Yeah, the whole “Hakuna Matata” mindset is just as liable to hurt you as it is to help you in college. Learning when to speak out and advocate for yourself versus accepting the fact that you may not know what’s best is a hard lesson.
I’ve learned to go with my gut. If you really want to graduate in four years, and your advisor doesn’t want you to take those 19+ credits next semester, advocate for yourself. You know yourself better than someone who only sees you a few times a semester.
Faculty or staff isn’t treating you right? We have resources to go to. Nothing won’t change unless you try to make it change.
Mistake #2: Not knowing how to say no.
My first semester I had this huge gap between classes where I virtually got nothing done. Sure, it’s easy enough in theory to say that you’re going to spend those two hours working your butt off, but that doesn’t account for when your friends ask if they want lunch. Next thing you know you’re in McDonalds for the first time in years about to buy something you don’t really want just because you’re too lazy to get your work done. Yeah, not my best moments. Loved the memories, but in hindsight I should’ve worked harder.
Now I’m not saying you should turn down every offer to go out, but be able to discern when you should or shouldn’t. I get wanting to spend time with your buds, but if they were really your pals, they’d support the fact that you’re trying to do well academically.
Mistake #3: Not going to open lab.
Now this is a bit more specific for me, but the premise is still the same: take advantage of your resources. For me, open lab is typically right after my lecture times or later in the evening. My main excuse to not go is that I could study later, or I could go to the next open lab. It was always later on, never now. I failed to realize that if I wont do it now, what makes me think that I could do it all later?
I heard the same message a hundred times before: take advantage of your resources. That message never really sunk in until I experienced what not taking advantage of your resources feels like. Go to class, go to those supplemental instruction sessions, and use those group study rooms to actually study instead of goofing off. Easier said than done, but trying is better than not at all.
Mistake #4: Overloading yourself.
I like being busy. So much so that stress almost feels enjoyable and downtime makes me feel like I forgot to do something. Some call it a marketable character trait, others a coping mechanism. Whatever it is, I learned the hard way between being busy because you want to versus overloading yourself because you feel like you have to.
College tends to give us a lot more opportunities to do things you wouldn’t necessarily do in high school. There’s more ways to get involved, more free time, and more ways to be social. But, with that involvement comes its associated work, with more free time comes proper time management skills, and with more social freedom comes with smart decision making.
One of the hardest things that I had to reconcile with is that I can’t have or do it all. I can’t spend every weekend out and still keep up with my other responsibilities; I can’t spend every free moment working and still be happy and healthy.
Knowing what you can and can’t handle is a trial and error process, and eventually you’d come to find that you can handle situations that previously you thought you couldn’t handle. Sometimes it’s the opposite. And whenever it seems like you can’t keep your head above water, there will always be resources (friends, family, professors, faculty) that will help.
Mistake #5: Not being present.
It’s easy for me to get into a routine. It’s safe, it’s relatively comfortable, and it’s predictable. I made the mistake of being comfortable in my routine, so much so I stopped branching out to try new things. I got comfortable in my friend group, and wasn’t as socially outgoing as I was before. I learned what I can and can’t get away with in class, and started to slowly slip academically. I started to feel that I was living for a deadline, rather than for myself.
I eventually began to catch myself, and took measures to learn how to be present instead of going through the motions. The measures I took will be different from the measures other people take. Sometimes, all it takes is being cognizant of the actions you take on a day to day basis.
This is by no means a comprehensive or even wholly correct list. Lessons come and go over time, and are subject to the interpretation of the viewer. Hopefully, I’d take these lessons along with future lessons along with me, from college and beyond.
James Cantu
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